Have You Seen Grace

So Pingy calls me last night at 7:47 pm and says Scotty wants to talk to you ( code for Baby's here) Scotty says Amy had the baby and Grace is here. WEll I was pretty proud. After all my choice of name stuck and so she is my Grace. Turns out she is everones Grace. She even entered via the Grace of God. It is no coincidence that Scotty called to get help driving to the hospital, its no small thing that he just happened to choose a good friend who they trusted with their kids but would end up trusting with their lives. I dont know this man but today he is my hero. His professional wisdom is the reason we are joyful and not mournful this day. "there but for the grace of God go I" Amy and Scotty love their neighbors today so do I. Grace is a miracle and looking at her she looks like an angel almost as much as my sister did to me last night. While in tremendous pain and great confussion had only one thought how is Grace. We were definately in Gods favor last night and Gods favor is Grace. And I know Im pushing this prophetic name because after all did I tell ya ( I chose it!) Now why did I love it so much may be obvious. It is simpe elegance and who loves simple elegance ?....Amy but also because she is symbolic of the tender mercy's of a loving Heavenly Father. Amy always wanted another child we spoke of it often and she talked about Chloe and what a wonderful big sister she would be. Well here she is Chloe the most elegant and lovely GRACE. And the nurse in Pink well she is fabulous and guess what her name is?? She's nurse Terri. ( Im sure the good pictures taken by Aunt Ginger are shortly to come)

Do Bad Things Really Happen In 3's?

If bed things happen in 3's Im there. When the Orem house sale fell through on Nov 27th I was certain I had filled my quota of bad luck after all that was the 3rd person to leave earnest money and commit to buy the house. On the bright side we have made $ 1,800 in earnest money thats almost 2 of the 17 house payments I have made while it has sat empty. On Dec 9th I discovered my streak of bad luck was still in progress. This happened when the woman in front of me stopped to make a left hand turn and I failerd to recognize that her car was no longer in motion. I swerved but caught the back corner of her van and the left corner of mine. I heard my light shatter and my hope that I had cleared her all at the same time. She got out and I knew it was my fault ( but I wish she had signaled still my fault) So I asked if she was ok called 911 and she asked if she could borrow my phone to call her husband. I said sure Im certainly not calling mine. That sounded bad but I knew Shawn was headed for his first ever bishopric meeting and I did not want to dump this on him. Later that night when I told him he was just glad no one got hurt and said now we can replace that side mirror thats been broke for 4 years. Good attitude, and I do appreciate it but its my fault!

This morning I got up, Immediately invitied the Christmas spirit by plugging in the Christmas tree lights and starting the christmas candle, a load of laundry and off to the shower. Then I heard it ...as I was stepping out of the shower. Every fire detector in the house was blareing Shawn sat up dazed I ran yelling, this is my fault. I knew immediately what happened I walked away from the candle. Thats not usually a big deal unless you turned on the stove to help it melt a little. Ive done it before. Tempted fate many times. Turn it on for 30 seconds and then light the candle and take it off the burner. Im my mothers daughter impatient I want to get to the smell right away. But this time I forgot I had turned on the stove and walked away to let Sam out. Then I just headed for the shower completely oblivious of my actions. Ive cried my share of sorrowful tears this morning. I could have burned our house down, or worse hurt or killed my family which still makes me cry to think what could have happened. Im just sick at my stupidity and added to the problem when I tried to smother it and flames redirected out the side of the lid and up the microwave to the ceiling. Shawn got a big towel and pushed the glass off the burner and it quickly died down . There was my melted microwave charred cabinet and my husband telling me it was our Christmas miracle. I know what he means but it was my fault!! When the adrenal dies away and I sit and ponder it doesnt take long to recognize the difference between a fender bender and needing a new car, or the difference between a small kitchen fire and loosing your home or worse. So have I been 3 times cursed or 3 times blessed. I have recoverd from every misfortune and learned valueable lessons. I would have to say thats a blessing. My microwave disagrees, it paid with its life. But if you ask Shawn he would say "that turn table wasnt working anyway and my cereal was always cooked on one side of the bowl" Isnt he nice to make it sound like I did us some favor. But I know...... its my fault.

All of this.... kind of in a Christmas way, reminds me of the purpose of the Savior in my life. I make mistakes, hopefully I learn from them some are pretty costly, some I try to clean up and make a bigger mess. While the insurance company did nothing wrong they will carry the greater burden . They will advocate for me with the other driver, estimate the cost and pay the largest portion. I dont have to do anything after I pay my share. And it is all my fault. At this moment I think I understand Godly sorrow better than I ever have. Iam so terribly sorry for my actions and so highly aware of the cost distribution which leaves me deeply greatful that I do not bare all the weight of my burdens alone.

What a great weekend

What a great weekend

So we had a big family day planned Saturday. it was suppose to be "our house sold!" celebration. as we all know the buyer didnt show up for closing.Well I had already paid for the tickets to see A Christmas Carol at the Hale Center Theatre so we decided to make it our Christmas Celebration. The Play is amazing it made Kate cry out loud and I tried to shed some tears quietly as some of my children actually look at me during sappy or touching moments just to see if Im crying. The theatre is very intimate and the play occurs in the round at your feet in and among you. Really wonderful ! Then we had lunch at Chuck a Rama not because its the best but because they can all agree and find food they will eat. Much to my surprise Taylor had chicken with his usual ice cream and bread pudding meal. Then we went to Home Depot to get our tree. Another less romantic option but they have trees everyone likes. My sparce limbs trees have been voted off the Christmas Island. We went home , I put on Kenny Loggins Christmas CD just so Becca could moan and tease me about it. Then we all decorated the tree turned off the lights and sat looking at it sparkle while the snow fell outside. It was a perfect day.

Then Sunday morning Dec 14, 2008 at 8:30 AM Shawn was set apart as the first councilor in the Bishopric of the 210 Ward at BYU. All of my sleepy children made it there and after we hugged him we followed him to the Tanner Building for sacrament meeting. The program was really inspiring. The choir was awesome and they had a flute and violin to accompany them. 2 young ladies talked about their semester abroad in Jeruselum and Shawn bore a heart felt testimony . Sunday school and Relief Society were well done, and I met some really wonderful dare I say young people. One of which remembered me from our Social Work Program so we talked school and what books I could loan her . Shawn stayed for Bishops council and I walked through the PE building thinking what a wonderful opportunity this will be for my family . I feel blessed that my life allows me the peace to enjoy such a weekend. We have employment, family who love us, a home where the heat is on and the cupboard full, We are all well and when we are not we can go to see any number of specialists. It is a wonderful life.

Rub a dub dub

"Hot Tub Folliculitis is a common type of folliculitis, a condition which causes inflammation of the hair follicle.
This condition is caused by an infection of hair follicles due to the bacteria Pseudomonas aeruginosa. The bacteria is commonly found in hot tubs, water slides, whirlpools, and such places. Children are more prone to this because they usually stay in the water longer than adults."

So if I had to think of one negative thing to say about our weekend with the BIG family in Heber this would be all ya get. A $25 trip to the doctor. " Oh Gabber you cant sit 3 hours in a stinky hot tub!!! " Otherwise it was a really relaxing and fun time. I like Amy loved the moose mouse tickle club, late night games ,the excessive delicious and creative food, ( we should hace a reunion cook book). Things I discovered... that no one knows that Chevrolet makes the Corvette, M&M's are a staple food after dark, at a reunion its ok to not change from your PJ's for 3 days, little boys are easily entertained if they have lots of hot wheels and a Kung Fu Panda movie. Girls are unhappy if there are no other girl cousins to play with. So we must have everyone there for complete cousin balance. I left so thankful for my family. I like them they are funny, generous,talented, frustrated, grumpy, need a nap! Loving people.

Turkeys Abound in the Oven and Elsewhere

Well were off and runnin the Holidays are in with a bang. Thanksgiving was wonderful. I did all the cooking and it only took 2 days!! We ate played games, watched movies, ate, played games, napped ate see a trend here. I did actually make a great apple pie a moist turkey and hot rolls that rival Ginger's. All in all it was so nice to just be.. just us. Then the alarm rang and it was 4:15 AM no time to curl my hair!! Must go . So with my adds in hand I headed in the dark to WalMart. I begged Amy to come but she was smarter than I and saw no purpose. Alas it may have saved me from delivering a baby in the electronics isle. There were no parking spaces in all of the 15 acres wall Mart owns. That was my first red lag. I followed the frantic ones into the store which was grid locked with carts. So I abandoned mine and headed for my focused purchase. First a pallet of pink vacuums are falling from a 20 foot stack it was a war zone the employees could not unwrap the stack fast enough so people were tearing at the plastic shrink wrap for a $9.00 vacuum?? Then I hit housewares and I kid you not no exagerating there is a grown man on the floor in a tug of war with a woman for one of the 11 Kitchen Aid mixers they had available at the sale your sole and your dignity price of 169.99. They ended up calling EMS for the lady who I later found prone on the floor in the electronics section near a stretcher. My item was gone long gone!! I ran into literally a friens who had a bloddy hand from a toy shelf of lego's that had been pushed from the opposite side as she reached for one they all came down on her. Seriously e need a little Christmas right this very minute!! So Im out of here leaving with my dignity but no great purchase. Then a man quite literally in disgust sits down his arm load of goods right in front of me and guess what is sitting right there on the stack of totes slippers MY ITEM. Thank you mister!! And off I go to stand in line behind a lady with 2 carts of 48 inch TV's 3 of them it was a $ 3,600 day for her and a $70.00 day for me. At least until I got to the Mall... but thats another story.

Historic Day!

So Tuesday November 4th 2008 turned out to be a a pretty big deal. Im sure that voting in a new president counted but thats not what Im a talkin about. For me it was personal and Im tearing up just recalling its significance. I was a teenager when dad asked me what I wanted to do with my life. ( I now realize how important that question is for a parent) I told him I wanted to be a Psychologist. He told me that would take lots of years of school, Im sure my geometry grade gave him reason to caution me. In second grade I wanted to be a stewardess, now known as a flight attendant. Other than that there has only been one dream . I thought it was a Psychologist but the purpose of our first years of college is to set us straight on what we really want. Social Work looks at the social systems that affect people. We care about it all. Hunger, poverty, discrimination, HIV, sibling rivalry, family connections, education, culture, religion it all shapes who we become. I personally love the family system, and dreamed of a day I would be a guide in the family therapy process it was an ominous thought. Which leads me back to Tuesday my historic day. Tuesday I moved from individual therapy with 3 sisters to family therapy with everyone. I was beyond nerveous. I know how valueable change can be for people.Finding new ways of looking at one another, new memorys, new labels or no labels. I survived the hour with a prayer, Virginia Satirs teachings and a sketch pad . The 5 year old and the 40 year old all stayed interested and invested. I was moved that they wanted it enough to face the many needs for change. It will be painful and conforntive and healing. I LOVE WHAT I DO which is watching the most intimate and powerful places be explored in a human sole, often my own sole is included. I hope you celabrate your milestones , they are such great markers of where we have been and where we are headed. I still have a western family water bottle in my top drawer that Ginger drank out of right after she finished her first big race, it was significant to me that it was her first well earned reward after victory. I appreciate a family of builders all pressing beyond their comfort to be more. Go Felecia you are 1/3 done and JP you know where you are goin thats big! Keep writing your scripts Scott, Power chair on Scotty. I know most of those wheel chair door openers are broke but you keep movin across that corrupt campus to your dream. To the red head who is liven the Peach State Dream keep takin chances, And to my many sisters who day dreamed as little girls themselves, about the faces of the children you would hold as your own, you are there ! Is this great or what. Now to play the piano, paint and speak Spanish .

It All Matters

Well it has been a long weekend for Becca. Her throwing coach died Thursay. She took a job her last year of High School working in a Bakery at 4am. She did this so she could afford to drive to Salt Lake and practice with Bish and Anna. She feels lost without him. He would hug her when she came on the field and rub her head and say " how ya throwin today. I think you can go to Nationals Becca. " I dont know what Bish taught her, Im sure he had mad skills but I know how he made her feel. I know it was a shock to loose him he was only 50 something. But isnt that how it is, no warning to wear underwear without holes, make up with your brother, or kiss your baby. There are many things Becca could remember about Bish but while we sat in Lions Park Thursday all she could talk about was his goodness, and his crazy knee socks and shorts. I can only hope when I die there are people who remember me for the goodness I leave, but until then I can work on it while Im here. So for starters do you know how deeply I love you, that I think of you many times ina week or even a day. Do you know that I think I have a charmed life because you are in it.

Love Terri

I FALL in LOVE with Autumn

So its fall. My favorite time of year. I get that "All is safely gathered in" feeling. The last of the Hay is bailed, crisp apples round out the trees harvest. Leaves fall gliding gently to the ground, the days actually seem like they have a golden hue to them. I love it. I love Gabby and Tays fall birthdays. I love watching a Lacrosse tournament all Saturday in a perfect temperature. I love Halloween, the innocent and joyful part. Silly costumes, special bags of treats for your primary class, the door bell singing all night. LOVE IT!! Its one of those days when childhood reigns and the kindness of all is exchanged in a little cellophane wrapped package. I hope it is a Gooey day for you all. Put your hand in a slimey pumpkins innerds and roast the seeds, eat a carmelly gooey something, kiss your kids until their little cheeks are gooey from the carmel you ate.

Its like being on the yearbook staff!

My turn.... Name this. Winner picked in one week!!

Savoring

Last week I went to hear a lecture on Positive Psychology. Its had me thinking ever since. The thought is that being happy takes a concious effort, its not about trying to avoid pain or difficulty but rather choosing to have a subjective well being, that include optimism, happiness, and self determination.



One of the principles was about Savoring, I have decided Savoring is going to be my new word , deed and action . Particularly with the holidays approaching. I have been ruminating about a lack of.... money, food storage, time, desire, and hope in general. After all the media is consumed with the negative. In fact There are also historical reasons for psychology's negative focus. When cultures face military threat, shortages of goods, poverty, or instability, they may most naturally be concerned with defense and damage control. Cultures may turn their attention to creativity, virtue, and the highest qualities in life only when they are stable, prosperous and at peace.



Im going to invite my family to join me in choosing our subjective well being. I like the word savor : to take pleasure, enjoy or delight in________. You feel in the blank. we dont have to spend our time in fixing what is wrong we can identify and nurture strenghts in our children, we can be satisfied with a days work, desire a joy filled hour of house cleaning, we can relish a cup of hot chocolate, we can prize the morning sunshine, revere a good neighbor.We can admire God himself in and beyond his gifts. As John Piper said.



Anyway I want to describe such a moment. Last week Kate just showed up in the middle of the week. It may have something to do with tacos. She did laundry and was waiting for it to dry. We were alone in the living room everyone else had gone to bed. I sat next to her on the couch so she could show me an art website she liked. We listened to soft and stirring music , thaat I was surprised she liked. She took my hand and held it laced in hers while we looked at art and quietly chose pieces we liked best. I was taking great pleasure and delighting in every moment .All these things were forms of Savoring. Savoring is defined as any thoughts or behaviors capable of generating, intensifying, and prolonging enjoyment. In other words, savoring is a way to access and prolong positive emotions. So Im choosing to still savor that particular moment.



A Dr. Fred Bryant (who coined the term “savoring”) says that savoring can take three forms related to the timing of the thing being savored. Some like to savor the past through reminiscing, others savor the future through the anticipation of things to come, and others enjoy just being in the present. Through his research, Dr. Bryant has also confirmed that savoring is very beneficial and healthy. Those who regularly and frequently savor are happier and more satisfied with life in general, they are more optimistic, and they are less depressed.





I guess the question we can ask is......... "What makes one moment better than another?"



I want to hear what simple things you are savoring

JP's first day

In 1981 I was ventureing into my final year as a Burley bobcat. I have always loved school, so I considered it my good fortune to start school the week of my birthday. A birthday early in the school year can be a strategic gift. When your mother brings cupcakes to school to celebrate your Birthday a kid can gain sudden popularity among peers. Its very powerful to choose who to hand such a delicious little package covered with sprinkles, after all you're only other food for the day was likely to be hamburger gravy on fake mashed potatoes, jello with fruit cocktail and warm milk.

But back to 1981. Dad was working in Oregon or Washington one of those neighboring states. He had just come home for the weekend and on Sunday he was debating rather he should stay the night or head back to work. I remember the debate and the dilema well. Mom was pregnant with her 7th child and due to have the baby very soon. I believe my mother convinced my father that it was fine to leave. She felt confident she would make it another week. We kissed dad good bye and waved him off from the dining room window, then settled down for the night.

Deep in sleep I took a minute to respond to her. " Terri I need you to get up!" Can we wait a little longer, I mumbled. I was more concerned with my sleep preservation. She left the room. I dont know how much longer it was but when the door to my room opened the second time the light from the hall streamed in. I was slightly more coherent this time and realized from the look on her face I needed to get up. I dressed and in the darkness of the night we drove to Cassia Memorial Hospital. I followed or maybe lagged behind her as she checked in and went to labor and delivery. I accompanied my mother into a room where they gave her a bed and I laid down in the bed across the room. It was so cold and sterile, everything was grey or cold steel. A nurse brought mom heated blankets and frequently she came in to check on her or check her to see how close she was to delivery. Mom tried to make small talk with me in betwee contraction. I wonder what my facial expressions were saying to her? Im sure I was grimising as the situation. Everything was so unfamiliar and watching the intensity and pain on her face was overwhelming. "Why is this room so cold! Cant you do something more for her pain? Have you tried to call my dad? All questioms running through my mind.

I dont know how many minutes or hours went by but I was eventually asked to go to the waiting room so they could prepare for delivery. I thumbed through every magazine and tried to find a comfortable position to close my eyes and wait. I remember when they wheeled her back to the room . I met the doctor as they were moving her. Mom was crying. I wasnt sure if you cry after having a bay because it hurst so stinkin much, or worse did something bad happen to our baby. She looked tired but so joyfully she smiled at me and threw tears she said "I had a boy, we have a boy! Has someone tried to call Ray?" In the wee hour of the morning my energy suddenly emerged. Brother is an unheard of word not even believeable I have 5 little sisters 3 of them in the past 5 years. I bounced around the waiting room looking for someone anyone to tell of my personal good fortune. I started to cry, in true Anderson girl style. Overwhelmed and delighted I could not contain my happiness. A nurse was the first to talk to my father on the phone. She had no idea the gold mine surprise this news would be. Im sure she was just sharing information, but I was truely irritated that the woman who had carried him and threw sweat and tears delivered him had not been given the opportunity to share this joy with her husband. I remember my dad had just arrived when he got the call . Without sleep or hesitation he jumped back in the car to head for Burley.

My sisters when told were shocked and gitty squealling and questioning my truth. I made it to school that day. It was a Tuesday and I could not wait to get to my Government Economics class to make my announcement. Gary Turner was my teacher and I knew he would value my announcement as a good neighbor . I brought doughnuts for my class that day. I didnt have the time to make sprinkled cupcakes but I definately wanted to share the joy of John's Birthday . And thus it was solidified that the number 22 would be my lucky number and it has proved to be very fortuitous for me. So on this 22nd day of September, 27 years later. I want to be the first or maybe the second to say.

Happy Birthday JP. I love you, you have brought an unknown amount of happiness to our estrogenized family.

My Firstest blog

So I have finally figured out how to to set up a google account. Hard to believe a person can be so capeable in one area and dysfunctional in others. I hate and fear failure, Im sure Im not alone in this thought. I guess this is why my husband bought me a silver paper weight for my desk that states, " What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" I was thinking of all the fledgeling firsts that have happened recently in my life. First time to be asked to do Family Therapy, First time I witnessed UCLA suffer their greatest defeat 59 to 0. Go mighty BYU! First time I had my first born and my second move out. The first time I met and sang happy birthday to a new nephew and wrote happy birthday and said good bye to my handsome oldest nephew. First time ever Gabby and Taylor rode a bus to school. First time my baby started Junior High.It was the first life opportuntiy to finish Grad school. It was the first year I attended 4 beautiful and precious family baptisms. It was the first season I watched my plants return and bloom. It is the first month I have sat alone in a house of quiet and realized how much I like the noise. It is the first of the week that someone liked what we had for dinner. It is the first kiss I had today while he touched my hair. It is the first hour I spent painting stars on Gabbys face for spirit week. It is the firt minute I realized I havent talked to a sister yet today. It is the moment I recognize that My life is an endless gift of first. So if my first blog doesnt go so well i will start over tomorrow and have another first. Im certain UCLA is anxious to play their first game after the pain of last weeks loss. Here't to renewal