Tonight after all of our home evening guests left Shawn was putting away chairs and kicked a little box. " Whats this?" he said with an eye brow raised towards me. I told him there was a whole bag of them right under the table and thus began the uncovering of the great sham that became my shame. From the Valcor envelope I drew its shiny sleek form BMG Club inticing me with all of its illusory power . Choose any 5 CD's now for free and in very miniscule writing was the devils contract.
The club became my own debauchery. I loved running to the mailbox waiting for my gift of the month. It was the hi light of a wednesday filled with noodle os soup and trips to the trash can with a baggy wrapped diaper. Could you blame my delight. I have no idea what 5 free selections I picked. What I do remember is the unselected by me featured selection of the month that arrived. I could return them but at my cost having opened to view the content. So they kept coming. Marion Meadows Dressed to Chill, Walter Beasley Ready for love,From the Plantation to the Penitentiary, Billy Strayhorn Lush Life. Every funkadelic, soul train selection ever made. I quit openning them. Fed babies, went back to school, left them in thier shrink wrap, attended school carnival, became the wolf den mother. Stacked them in their BMG cardboard boxes in the cupboard, started working for DCFS, and they kept coming and I kept saying I was gonna return them.
Well I didnt. I paid 21.77 for most of the funkadelic selections and for one fine smooth groove $24.76 . I have kept my shame in a gift bag stacked neatly all these years. And tonight Shawn kicked a box and the giggy jig was up. He opened every dad gum box. Then he said we are gonna sit down and listen to this entire CD as a punishment. To make it worse he put it on the DVD player so it grooved through the whole house. Album title The Best of Down To The Bone. This man ( producer)was somebodys blessed child so I aint sayin nothin bad. I just need more than 9 bars of the same beat in a 6 minute 37 second tune. These are talented musicians that landed their mo jo in the wrong house cuz I didnt bother to choose my selection of the month, and I didnt bother to return the selections I didnt want, and I didnt argue when the slightly less than nice man called and said I still owed BMG $108.85 and could pay it or go to collections, I simply paid it.
Well thats been many many years gone by. More than 5 years but not 10 and Im still holding on to my shame. It was nice to free it tonight. I couldnt believe Shawn ripped open every box read every title and did some psychedelic dancing for me while it played, why I died a little on the couch of shame. Gab thought we lost our minds. Shawn tried to get her to disco with him.
So 2 thoughts... There are things you can get for free, they are often very costly; and is anyone having a Christmas white elephant party I could come to?
6 comments:
Oh Terri! I'm laughing. I'm sorry you held onto that shame for so long. Sometimes you've just got to face your mistakes and move on. I love that Shawn grooved to your pricey tunes. What a guy!
p.s. I smell a sister's dance-off.
That was so funny. Sophie just kept asking, "Mom, why u laughing, Mom why u laughing? Shawn's comment about it being a punishment was hilarious. I have a few dumb purchases that I still own.
OHHH sister - I joined a coin of the month club - you know just like yours were there were lots of free uncirculated coins and still to this day we are getting coins in the mail. I don't know who is paying for them because I don't even own that credit card anymore! How funny ! I wanna dance off too!
I loved Uncle Shawn's form of "punishment."
hahahah! oh the shame!! i love the punishment to fit the crime.
I second Amy's idea to have a sister's dance-off. That is the perfect use for these. The one that is repetitive would be perfect for my tight moves. Shawn is the funniest. BTW- Jenny might be able to bale you out with her money (er somebodies)
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