Why did you do this to yourself?

Im a holiday diva. Love them all love them big and shiny and with much jubilation. I want the perfect surprise to leave someone speechless teary eyed or jumping up and down . That means I have made many purchases over the years in front of a cash register day dreaming of someones delight and not the long term view. That looks like a JC Penny credit line just to buy a ring 30% off at 18% interest. Ithas been toddler toys thast pop, cry and shoot off Star wars light saber noises or fire truck alarms. I have had play dough in my carpet, Shrinky dinks on fire in the oven. I feverishly bid on e-bay for a leapord spotted coat. Begged for by a 10 year old who slipped it on once. Fake fur is "too hot to wear mama". We have un played guitarsand unstrung bows. We own a Cotton candy machine and easy bake oven that are rediculous to clean and need a home equity line of their own to afford the ounce and a half mixes! I have a dog thats had interveneous feedings, a cat that can only have food from one store, and a guinea pig for whom I called every vet and pet hospital in the phone book. I willingly offering a blank check to have a c section performed and save its babies.

In the dark of the night I will wait for a 5 AM stampede to get cabbage patch anniversary edition, DS lite, legends of Zelda and a My little pony whos strawberry smelling hair grows. The hair will be cut off in a jagged pony tail and it will have a new name written on its bottom and permanent marker lipstick and eye shadow within 5 hours of unwrapping.

This year my big surprise was getting Gabby ( formerly known as DOO DA DAY) an unavailable in the USA copy of Song of the South. She cried as I expected and so did I. But my biggest coo was Skull Candy Headphones. Retail $88.00 my price $28.00 "oh yea I rock I say to myself" while Im wrapping them up. But its now 5 days later. I have repeated myself 700 times! The bathrooms dirty, the dog hasnt been walked and no one knows where I have gone. Because they cant hear me !! Apparently it isnt me who rocks.

So Its true Im a sucker for a happy moment. If I have my way, one day light years from now. I will park a big Kawasaki trail bike in the driveway, with a huge red ribbon on it for my husband. He will be so surprised I expect he will squeal like a 6 year old who gets a my little pony. I can see his face now all excited and greatful. Its enought to keeep me from remembering that I HATE the idea of him riding the thing and will be worried every time he varooms out of the driveway. See Why do I do this to myself??

It Is A Wondeful Life

Last Sunday I went to church with my whole family. ON TIME! We sat on the front row. I got to set next to my husband in the crook of his sheltering arm, that was nice. There was not room for Tay to set with us after he was done with his sacrament resonsibilities. Bec and Gab went over and set in the Deacons seats with him. I asked Kate if she wanted to sit between dad and I ( Something we have rarely let our children do) . She did and was very cuddly, particularly for Kate who is not my touchy feely kid. That would be the boy who wants me to rub his head every night why we watch Everybody Hates Chris. Anyway. The meeting was exceptional the Christmas Choir the small talks. I had water trickling down my face most of the meeting. Kate leaned over and said " Come here you big old wet mop" I had to contain a giggle why she hugged me and kissed my face right in church!!! Later she told me "Im kind of the grinch green on the outside tender in the middle" I said Who Be Whatee . It has been a very generous Christmas full of beautiful happy tender moments. I loved our Anderson Christmas Party it seemed like the kids have grown enough to do some quieter interaction and they were self contained playing grandma and grandpa upstairs in grandmas reading glasses. Eli bounced off of Shawn getting tickled for some time, I held Izzy as one of the lucky few. We delighted in salad heaven and Crem Brulee sin. Lots of warm smiles and soft touches. AWESOME.

I know what my favorite gift is this year and possibly for many years. I just had not taken the reflective minutes to think of its power. It is hope. I have never known one minute of a life without it. There has always been someone I knew who would comfort me hold me encourage me and solve sorrow with me. I have never known true dispair isolation abandonment. I know it exists .I have seen its terror, but it is not my life. I believe there will always be a witness for the importance of me. Just me flawed frightened, insecure, deserving, desiring irritable me. Thank you Lord Jesus for being near me guiding me delighting in my happiness and providing for it to continue evermore.

Making The Best Of Christmas

We had a lesson in Relief Society and they mentioned the Good Better Best talk by Dallin Oaks. I started thinking about how that could apply to Christmas for me. I often end the year wishing I had spent more time thoughtfully for the holidays. So for Family Home Evening we did a list of things that would qualify in those areas for holidays. I love buying gifts and Santa Claus movies but they are not what gives me the greatest spiritual lift. I really dont remember most of who gave what over the years nor do my children. But a child can tell you what they look forward to and love about Christmas time, and its usually family time together. I hope we do this the best this year along wit some personal choices that will create the BEST Christmas . Wouldnt it be ironic in a year where we have little monitarily to have the most gratitude joy and peace.

FREE STUFF

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I have not yet downloaded some of these but I have a friend who has. They're free. I may download all of them.... Hope you see some you'd like, or some others you know might like. Do pass this on to others who might enjoy these books. The information below warns that this opportunity is not going to continue to be available. Enjoy.
As a part of his doctoral studies, John Hilton III is "studying what happens when books are made available for free." He worked with "Deseret Book and they have made 8 of their books available for free." They can all be downloaded at http://deseretbook.com/free. Several of the books are ones you might be interested in. The books are:

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Seek The Lord Early

Gabby and Taylor have a temple baptism trip with the young mens and young womens group scheduled for some Tuesday evening this month. Their was also an option to go an additional time at 5 AM on a Satuday morning. I told both of them if they wanted to go they needed to get themselves up and there. No pushing dragging or guilting from me. (Its a new thing Im trying called free will not so free consequences) .

I was up at 4:30 making Shawns lunch, when Gabber rubbing her sleepy eyes stumbled into the bathroom. 10 minutes later Tay was up and at 5:05 they were in his car heading out! Im gonna go back to bed very content that they have chosen to seek the Lord early, very early this morning.

Primary Lessons

This is my 8 year olds at our class party.

I in very indulged fashion hand picked my class this year all 11 of them. Its been a challenge handling that many chatterboxes during primary, but I would not have it any other way. All of these children were my first nursery class in this ward in 2003. I am deeply attached to them. They are my investment. Im not what one would call a church scholar. There are so many things I have not examined or studied. I know that is a very important piece of my life that I have not partaken of . So its possible as I say this that its me covering for my slackerish ways. When I was called to be the Primary President at 28 I was most un prepared and I let Heavenly Father know it. I laid on my bed with myriads of resources planning a sharing time. This would often take the better part of a day( again not a scholar). So I decided out of desperation that the theme of my presidency was going to have to be simple ... so I decided on love . If I got not one other message to a child then they would know I loved them. On my last Sunday I kneeled a the door and hugged every child andtold them I loved them why I cried huge crocodile tears all over their little clip on ties and dresses. I had no idea the impact it would have on me personally.

Love is now the only measurement of success I use. I have no control over what information makes it to thier little subconcious. They are often busy whispering about Star Wars Rogue Squadron attacks . I dont know if I have strengthened their testimonies while they are leaning back on their chair hitting the wall. I cant measure my impact after primary because usually I need tylenol and a nap. Bottom line at the end of the day I only know that they know I consistently unceasingly love them. Thats what I take home that brings me back again next week. Im sure this sounds like a sanctimonious sermon but my true intention is to say what this has given me. My way of being is better 3 hours on Sunday than at any other time. Im more patient, more gentle, more deligent, more holy than at any other place in my life and I like it... I like me when Im with them!! I could not have done one more thing to be true to who I know I should be. I cry more and laugh more and my heart hurts it is so full . On the first Saturday of most months Im completely uplifted and touched to attend their baptisms and be reminded of the blessed and guided lives they have begun. While I drive home I feel renewed and humbled that I to can have that change in my life whenever I choose it. I want my way of being with those 11 children to creep into every place in my life. Mostly this blog is a testament of the truth that I know. "Where love is there God is also ." Tis love we get when love we bring. Turns out that making the investment in them collected big dividends for me.

Unsung heros

Heres to mother's who sew, ebay, and teach step arobics at wee hours so wee children can make every wish come true.

Here's to mothers who view every event from behind a lense so someone can enjoy it again later.

Here's to mothers who know what it requires to be a mother and do it anyway!

Here's to mothers who have the patience to teach a resistant child a new skill .

Whole Lota Birthday

October typically holds 2 Rowley Birthdays. This year we added6 more. Sams girlfriend had puppies. All black and white 3 female 3 male. They were born in the beginning of the month.

I think Birthdays are a big deal. That big deal has gone from a joyous day of celebration to doing what Jen calls " Takin it on the road." Gabbys Birthday spanned a weekend . I took her to lunch and bought her a shirt on Thursday. Friday she didnt have a Birthday Party because I said, "We have had a party every year since you were 3 Gab no party this year."

So she just asked if she could have someone (s) sleep over. Sure Gab 5 giggly girls rootbeer floats and sour patch kids. Movies all night and thats not a party?? By law Gab tells meif their is no invitations cake or presents it does not constitute a party. So Friday we didnt have a party.

Saturday evening we dropped her off at Becca's house to spend the night and go to the dollar movie.

Sunday we had her favorite dinner and Gabby pie formerly known as chocolate almond bar pie.

Monday she got to take her annual birhday off school .

Taylor , who harrased Gabber for her endless weekend has decided its his Birthday all week. Sunday bread pudding and candles. Monday presents and the day off school to play games until your brain shuts down. Kate and Becca take him to the dollar movie and they all share a subway sandwhich they smuggle in his sweat shirt.Tuesday his actual Birthday I will make his favorite Zuppa Tascana and hang the birthday banner. For Wednesday he announces " I shouldnt have to drive Gab to school because I dont have a first peiod and its my birthday!"

Where did I go wrong....... Never mind dont answer that.

Happy october to me what a blessed mom I am

to have these happy good kids. Have a great 1st, 14th, 17th year.