Why did you do this to yourself?

Im a holiday diva. Love them all love them big and shiny and with much jubilation. I want the perfect surprise to leave someone speechless teary eyed or jumping up and down . That means I have made many purchases over the years in front of a cash register day dreaming of someones delight and not the long term view. That looks like a JC Penny credit line just to buy a ring 30% off at 18% interest. Ithas been toddler toys thast pop, cry and shoot off Star wars light saber noises or fire truck alarms. I have had play dough in my carpet, Shrinky dinks on fire in the oven. I feverishly bid on e-bay for a leapord spotted coat. Begged for by a 10 year old who slipped it on once. Fake fur is "too hot to wear mama". We have un played guitarsand unstrung bows. We own a Cotton candy machine and easy bake oven that are rediculous to clean and need a home equity line of their own to afford the ounce and a half mixes! I have a dog thats had interveneous feedings, a cat that can only have food from one store, and a guinea pig for whom I called every vet and pet hospital in the phone book. I willingly offering a blank check to have a c section performed and save its babies.

In the dark of the night I will wait for a 5 AM stampede to get cabbage patch anniversary edition, DS lite, legends of Zelda and a My little pony whos strawberry smelling hair grows. The hair will be cut off in a jagged pony tail and it will have a new name written on its bottom and permanent marker lipstick and eye shadow within 5 hours of unwrapping.

This year my big surprise was getting Gabby ( formerly known as DOO DA DAY) an unavailable in the USA copy of Song of the South. She cried as I expected and so did I. But my biggest coo was Skull Candy Headphones. Retail $88.00 my price $28.00 "oh yea I rock I say to myself" while Im wrapping them up. But its now 5 days later. I have repeated myself 700 times! The bathrooms dirty, the dog hasnt been walked and no one knows where I have gone. Because they cant hear me !! Apparently it isnt me who rocks.

So Its true Im a sucker for a happy moment. If I have my way, one day light years from now. I will park a big Kawasaki trail bike in the driveway, with a huge red ribbon on it for my husband. He will be so surprised I expect he will squeal like a 6 year old who gets a my little pony. I can see his face now all excited and greatful. Its enought to keeep me from remembering that I HATE the idea of him riding the thing and will be worried every time he varooms out of the driveway. See Why do I do this to myself??

It Is A Wondeful Life

Last Sunday I went to church with my whole family. ON TIME! We sat on the front row. I got to set next to my husband in the crook of his sheltering arm, that was nice. There was not room for Tay to set with us after he was done with his sacrament resonsibilities. Bec and Gab went over and set in the Deacons seats with him. I asked Kate if she wanted to sit between dad and I ( Something we have rarely let our children do) . She did and was very cuddly, particularly for Kate who is not my touchy feely kid. That would be the boy who wants me to rub his head every night why we watch Everybody Hates Chris. Anyway. The meeting was exceptional the Christmas Choir the small talks. I had water trickling down my face most of the meeting. Kate leaned over and said " Come here you big old wet mop" I had to contain a giggle why she hugged me and kissed my face right in church!!! Later she told me "Im kind of the grinch green on the outside tender in the middle" I said Who Be Whatee . It has been a very generous Christmas full of beautiful happy tender moments. I loved our Anderson Christmas Party it seemed like the kids have grown enough to do some quieter interaction and they were self contained playing grandma and grandpa upstairs in grandmas reading glasses. Eli bounced off of Shawn getting tickled for some time, I held Izzy as one of the lucky few. We delighted in salad heaven and Crem Brulee sin. Lots of warm smiles and soft touches. AWESOME.

I know what my favorite gift is this year and possibly for many years. I just had not taken the reflective minutes to think of its power. It is hope. I have never known one minute of a life without it. There has always been someone I knew who would comfort me hold me encourage me and solve sorrow with me. I have never known true dispair isolation abandonment. I know it exists .I have seen its terror, but it is not my life. I believe there will always be a witness for the importance of me. Just me flawed frightened, insecure, deserving, desiring irritable me. Thank you Lord Jesus for being near me guiding me delighting in my happiness and providing for it to continue evermore.