Things I Appreciate Right This Minute

  • Energetic school teachers
  • A garage free of mice and clutter
  • 82 degrees by day 62 degrees by night
  • Birthday lunch Plans with my sisters mom and maybe my brother(Felicia your on the sister list)? !!!
  • fresh salsa and peach crisp

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

OH Baby

23 years ago I brought two of the most fragile little spirits into the world. It was a euphoric day for me. I arrived at the hospital to far into the process to have any painkiller but honestly I don't remember it being crazy pain just crazy. I was in no way prepared for what was to come. We had no cribs diapers nothing, and that was to be the least of my worries! Now we have tripped, danced, jogged down the roads of life and well I still seem to think your fragile regardless of how much you can bench press

Dec 12 I took another journey in the world of parenting I accompanied Becca to the labor room . At first it was all thrilling and exhilarating as we hoped for a quick return on the investment. The time drew slowly on and I watched as laboring really began. I hope I had a brave face on as I would often say"This is all normal ." It didnt feel normal it was frightening and vulnerable and I wanted to be there for her but not prepared to witness her pain. That is true for all of the years of mothering . However the last month has been a very concentrated dose of reality.

I thought we walked right to the edge of survival with Becca's life and certainly with Romans. No food for 48 hours no sleep for 72 nothing left to give battered bruised and broken the fight had to continue. Its as if God wants you to taste many life lessons right there at the pinnacle creation of your relationship with a child. This will be exhausting , you will have to give way beyond you believe you are capeable, your sacrifice is critical to the healthy life of this child, and I will not desert you we will do it together.

I saw the transformation the selfless love of my daughters that week. Kate would not leave Becca's side she stayed every night why I went home to rest. She served in every way she could think of . Becca was in so much pain and insisted that she feed her baby. I took her ina wheel chair to the NICU to meet her baby. It was so tender. I dont really have the artfull ability to capture the magic of the connectivity that happens when a mother meets her child. All mothers know well what I mean because the power of the moment is easily revisited

Babys are a short term treat you get out of the deal that is if you like the smell of powdery little heads and skin warm and tender resting on your chest. I was taught at the hands of the baby lover so I to love tiny people. Kate referred to me as Golum and Roman is my precious . I was kind of hovering over him like he was the last wonderful wriggling fish. He is my stinky face.

I know that this job of parenting is transforming for the parent but it is straight up forming for a child . A precious little blank slate waiting for you to imprint their personal value and trust in the world

I know you can be wonderful at this girls, because you are loving and gentle. Thier are many people of all ages who still need someone to imprint on them that they are valueable and safe. Im so pleased to be your mother today because I see that you have chosen to love wholey fearlessly. You know their is pain for sure with that choice and you do it anyway.

Happy Birthday Katie Happy Birthday Becca

I love you Mom


K the second said...


That was one of the most beautiful posts I've ever read. Your heart is amazing and I'm so glad I caught a glimpse of it tonight as I read this wonderful tribute to your baby girls. Wow. Just wow.

Jen said...

I agree and I would like to add my wow! I love those twinner girls and my own twinner too! OHHH and that baby - that baby is MY precious!

Amy said...

All beautifully tied together. What a journey! Those two are so lucky to have each other. Happy Birthday Girls!

Molly said...

How great was that! Those pictures of Becca in the NICU took me right back to the day I pretty much ran down the hall when the nurse called me and told me I could finally hold Maggie.Overwhelming!

Em said...

Beautifully written.

Sheri said...

YEAH!! Let the fun begin. I have been thinking about you for the past few weeks. I am so glad to see the pictures and hear how life is going full speed ahead. LOVE YA

Ging said...

So late for me. I have been gone for 5 months. I don't even know what happened there. But in the meantime some pretty significant wonders have happened in yours. You amaze me like no other Terri. Passing down the art of love is a daily class that you have taught for 23 years. Is it any wonder that she is a wonderful mom? No.

shawn rowley said...

i very much liked this post.