A recent conversation with Roman

"Hi my bubber chubberness . Lets put a bib on your juicy face"

"Gwa ma thats not a bib its my cape."

" I am BATMAN!"

" As a matter of fact gwa ma I can prove it "

"Look at my beefy legs for quick take off."

I know buddy thats why we call you Roo your a good jumper.

" And gwa ma I have a serious 6 pack"

" I know buddy thats how you rolled over at 2 1/2 months, your very strong"

"Lets just have a warm bottle we can talk about this later."

"Gwa ma you just gotta believe me."

" I know my stinky face. You wish you were Batman."

A few minutes later...............................................

"What??!... oh my nugget you are my SUPER HERO, how could I have ever doubted.

OH Baby

23 years ago I brought two of the most fragile little spirits into the world. It was a euphoric day for me. I arrived at the hospital to far into the process to have any painkiller but honestly I don't remember it being crazy pain just crazy. I was in no way prepared for what was to come. We had no cribs diapers nothing, and that was to be the least of my worries! Now we have tripped, danced, jogged down the roads of life and well I still seem to think your fragile regardless of how much you can bench press

Dec 12 I took another journey in the world of parenting I accompanied Becca to the labor room . At first it was all thrilling and exhilarating as we hoped for a quick return on the investment. The time drew slowly on and I watched as laboring really began. I hope I had a brave face on as I would often say"This is all normal ." It didnt feel normal it was frightening and vulnerable and I wanted to be there for her but not prepared to witness her pain. That is true for all of the years of mothering . However the last month has been a very concentrated dose of reality.

I thought we walked right to the edge of survival with Becca's life and certainly with Romans. No food for 48 hours no sleep for 72 nothing left to give battered bruised and broken the fight had to continue. Its as if God wants you to taste many life lessons right there at the pinnacle creation of your relationship with a child. This will be exhausting , you will have to give way beyond you believe you are capeable, your sacrifice is critical to the healthy life of this child, and I will not desert you we will do it together.

I saw the transformation the selfless love of my daughters that week. Kate would not leave Becca's side she stayed every night why I went home to rest. She served in every way she could think of . Becca was in so much pain and insisted that she feed her baby. I took her ina wheel chair to the NICU to meet her baby. It was so tender. I dont really have the artfull ability to capture the magic of the connectivity that happens when a mother meets her child. All mothers know well what I mean because the power of the moment is easily revisited

Babys are a short term treat you get out of the deal that is if you like the smell of powdery little heads and skin warm and tender resting on your chest. I was taught at the hands of the baby lover so I to love tiny people. Kate referred to me as Golum and Roman is my precious . I was kind of hovering over him like he was the last wonderful wriggling fish. He is my stinky face.

I know that this job of parenting is transforming for the parent but it is straight up forming for a child . A precious little blank slate waiting for you to imprint their personal value and trust in the world

I know you can be wonderful at this girls, because you are loving and gentle. Thier are many people of all ages who still need someone to imprint on them that they are valueable and safe. Im so pleased to be your mother today because I see that you have chosen to love wholey fearlessly. You know their is pain for sure with that choice and you do it anyway.

Happy Birthday Katie Happy Birthday Becca

I love you Mom